Transcendence

tran(t)ˈsendəns/ (noun) existence or experience beyond the normal or physical  level.

First of, I would like to welcome you to my new theme. It’s not yet fully fixed in terms of design but it would be my home in progress. I’ve got a lot of things I’ve been itching to write but due to the unfortunate event of me losing my theme, I had to halt all my thoughts first into my mind or onto a notebook.

But now, without further ado, my mental whispers.

Outcast

I’ve always been that person to be last picked, a substitute and a go-to in case of a spot to fill. I’m no different to being left out, and sometimes I think its better that way… but then again, it affects me to question my friendship with people. I’ve always wondered what my value is to these entities, maybe I am what an A.I. is to a player in a game. A one step up the ladder to fulfill their means of entertainment and happiness.

Trying to improve on my lazy attitude, I pursue moving out of my chair and into places outside of the house i stay and into meeting different people. I did put an effort to it to change me, but I guess some people can give up when you’ve failed them quite an amount.

But something tells me it’s not.

Sometimes it is the people who claim themselves to be good that tend to uplift those notions that are bad in the world.

Camaraderie

The team’s getting better and we just had our recent outing. Above all, I’m thankful that both my new direct teammates were able to come and enjoy the culture of our team. It’s amazing to see the vibrancy of the SH family in harmony.

Looking back and seeing my performance in the event, I’m starting to feel the aged factor as my preference in activities grew more inclined to rest, with less taken photos and more conversations on going. Plus, as I’ve stated, I’m not a social entity, I shy away and am repulsed by my own self in being more transparent and dynamic in the physical vocal content.

Going back to the topic on hand, it was sad to see that 2 great and loyal comrade will leave our ship soon this March. My shamelessly favorite spiritually tethered fruit and my mentored and development teammate in front end. The loss of this combination saddens me the most out of all the history of our company’s release of great individuals.

Transition

With the acquisition of two new surrogate children under my wing in the company family, I am left with a surge of tasks for my team and managing client demands and desires for the next generation sales and existing content’s experience. I’m overwhelmed so to speak and it gets crazy without prayer, peace and focus to keep me calm on the horrid days I drown on thoughts of my capacity and inventory I have to execute.

I love web development, my fancy for html and complementing languages always snowballs to an ice field full of sparkles. I love being able to see things produced with letters and signs, more than preparing eye candies for the masses. But alas, I have to move away from my love as I need to grow from my pot into the garden. CRO is a major challenge, it creates the need in me to read and study more than what I can discern but it is of great interest to be able to improve and guide people into delivering their experience and desire. It feels wonderful to be able to help both the business and the consumer in this limitless age.

Repentance

It is only on the time that I have decided to develop more by relationship than knowledge that I have only truly learned more to discipline and understand what my principles are for and what they entail. The Christianity I have held for 25 years in my life have been dull, pointless and sheathed all this time, all because I treated it like an exotic blade I refused to wield. Now, I took it to be one with what I had by my side all this time, to now experience its weight and form.

I could now understand and answer the questions that was left in my past to faith, which was an empty faith. I raised questions to people of authority and yet I was only responded with a shake of the head about my inquisition and theories. But not now, not anymore. I know where I stand and why to what. My only regret is that I wasn’t bestowed by this grace sooner when I was sliding down in a spiral pit.

Inspiration

Can anyone guess where I got the inspiration for the content of my homepage? A lucky participant might be able to win him/herself a website in discount if the wind blows right.

I need books, magazine, sources of content to study, browse and acquire aesthetics and knowledge on my field. I need blogs, to follow and authors to learn from. For now, I’m left with the feedly’s library but I need more, I know there’s more.

(Big thanks to Avii for posing wondrously for this photo!)