Grief is the price we pay for love
The Grieving Brain by Marie-Frances O’Connor
I study grief not because its interesting but rather because i experienced it. My hope to be someone that I had needed when I couldn’t recover from the loss, when everyone felt like a stranger, and when I was drowning in my own sorrow.
Hi, my name is Kevin. I was born in the 1990 and had a fulfilling business and career working as an executive but all that changed when my partner of 2 years died of COVID at 2022.
Living for 32 years at that time, I knew that death comes as part of life. Everyone that lives dies, and everyone at their 30;’s probably knew someone that died. Yet at the age where, I had to know about government taxes, investments and the stock market, no one taught me how to grieve, and no one knew how to console someone grieving either. Everyone felt too far away, or far avoidant of my turbulent emotions and against the gaping hole that is in my chest. For 2 years, my relationships got ruined, life and relationship felt meaningless and money didn’t felt like it mattered. I lost hope and everything felt like a whirlwind out of grasp. It felt like a huge part of me got removed but the mirror says otherwise. There was something more than what meets the eye, or a lack thereof.
In 2 years I didn’t have the energy to manage my career and business, maintain family bonds and even take care of my health, all this as a side effect as I couldn’t handle the loss well. I wasn’t handling being bereaved well and no one knew how to guide me either. Lost — everything felt lost and yet I was losing more that didn’t matter to me at that time.
It was until I met a grief coach specifically tuned to work with stories of loss.
I grew better through that therapy, I didn’t know why then, but the world felt a little warmer, the sun shone a little through the cracks and the weight on my chest felt more bearable. Life, while still void of purpose, felt something worth more exploring and to participate in. Because of this, I have chose to study the same exact method that was used on me so I can do it for others too.
Mental health is a silent disease this season probably coming from losses from the COVID-19 pandemic. Losses that can range from life, relationships, jobs, opportunities, friends and even pets. As technology came to innovate fast, we started lacking some social aspects of humanity that is essential for our functions and health. We started participating in matters on a pure logical scale rather than understanding things contextually, socially and emotionally. Our shield and sword of the screen started to make us less of a society and more of conquerors our for blood than bonds.
My mission as I come to a different vision for my existence and experiencing death intimately is to make space for healthier grieving. A life matters and if I could save a person out of the quicksand of grief, my training is worth it, my survival is worth it and my study is worth it.
I’m currently studying Masters of Psychology in hopes to understand grief more and its related effects towards human capacity of falling into depression, anxiety and despair. As I pursue this path, I hope to become the leading expert on grief with the hopes to make a change in turning this inevitable season for humans from a taboo to a communion we can share because such tumultuous emotions cannot be bore by one person alone.
If you are grieving and you don’t know what to do next, know that all of my journey and my history, all the pain I went through, I believe is for me to be able to help you. If you find that you can’t bear the weight of the world anymore because of losing what made you whole, please feel free to book a therapy with my. The first session is free and I welcome your heavy heart with a safe space to grieve together.