Singapoor: Peace in Panic

The sign says “Early Check In” when I decided to come by the counter. I proceeded to present my printed form and the lady says with her hands to her mouth “Your flight was yesterday.”

Reacting to Failure

I didn’t know what to do honestly, I was shocked but not stunned. Concerned but not anxious. I knew it was going to be expensive and it’s not in my current capacity to deliver such amount either. $239 was not an easy feat to shell out in a snap, if it wasn’t a need I didn’t see a reason to. But I needed to get back home because work begins soon.

I’m human, I did felt the surge of the most negative vibes throughout my body, the lady saw me panic a little but she gave me my options, told me that I had time though not necessarily the resources at my disposal. Things weren’t going well in the process, I needed my Singapore sim for the connection but my Philippine sim for the OTP code to confirm my credit card payment while having one phone. I had to get a wifi connection down stairs but in the delay I lost the cheaper booking. There were definitely a lot of times where I could’ve shaken my fist in hopes to defy the bad destiny I’m currently in but I couldn’t. Something about me finds peace and joy in all this.

Faith

I knew life wasn’t all left to chance as if luck was the greatest god of all. It was easy to see failure as an opportunity of question rather than a swish of having a horrible roll of a dice. When my identity is not determined by money, nor does it seem to define my future. It’s not at all devastating to lose it. Because I know in the end, I will still have better and these situations have lessons not losses to learn from.

I quote Philippians 4:19

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

It might not be in the same level of need as food, shelter and money as a necessity, but I guess we all have a “need” depending on our circumstance. I’m sure He knows and understands what it is, it’s a matter of having some relationship to know and trust that He’s into solving your problems before you even explicitly ask.

Am I happy about my loss? No. Am I fine with it? Yes. I do not see it magnified compared to what it is in the grand span of things. I see it as a hiccup from my eternity.

My kind of relationship with God in terms of fulfilling a daily quality time isn’t any special, heck it can be considered worse than average by a rating. But I understand and seek to understand more about His ways. I’m not pretending to be one with the greatest calm in turmoil, again I repeat I am human with the same reactions. But with a presence of mind  and heart in this life, I respond. I do pray and encourage you that you seek to find this peace that when you end up in a similar occurrence, you will also be able to choose faith rather than despair.

Matthew 7:7

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”