I may be able to read people, but I can never predict them. Life under these circumstances, the subconscious capability to breathe and experience a diverse set of moments in different lives, the exponential amount of events which can trigger thousands of different instances and different settings, to be able to grasp the present and reality is only a dream we choose to live and slowly gain the power to alter it to our goals if we do it consciously and through active possession.
People, I’ve started to lose my trust on each one I do because of the thousand flaws they inherit. Surprisingly when you choose to set infinity for one, they repay it with the limit of the sands of an hour glass, they have too much to do to leave for you. I never understood humans, me and anyone else. We desire what we cannot reach and forfeit what we have, we pursue those that run from us but we shun those who have raised us up on pedestals. Its amazing how we work, emotions and the logical partitions. We claim to know what we do, but we fail to realize that sometimes the borrowed knowledge we cherish is a relative truth only to the experience of others, but we defend it so just because our reputation depended on it. It’s best not to focus on people.
Being broken is amazing experience, to see yourself out of power triggers your primal survival instincts in making you exist more than live. You will make thousand of mistakes you won’t, you will shed the tears your eyes have filled and you will act through reaction, not by your accounted decisions: You become your prime, like a child to be nursed once more. The past will merge into something for the future and you will claim something you wouldn’t have accepted, and it integrates itself to you, you become one as you open yourself to the attracting forces of your recovery. Of course every creature has its natural defense mechanism, and to each one that shows threat, one will have to be repulsed from the sensory warning it triggers. It’s of no use for the good if one sees them as the bad.
My adaptive nature directs me these days to change myself, a year has passed and my tomorrow should not be the same of my today. To be born another year is a blessing which I would not waste in mediocrity, familiarity and failure. If the climate can change because of people, so will I. I have accepted that all choices I make will direct my tomorrow, even if I make none, my destiny will shift its course, so why lose the chance to make the more drastic one?
Let me study my existence, the world I have set foot on, the light that bedazzles my view, to the air the prances the scent on my nostrils, make all my senses glee. I will meet people I’ve wanted to meet or have never met before. I will fly towards different lands my mind has never set nor my knees couldn’t have touched. I will exist to live, as existence was made to be lived, not to cower with on the solace of security. Let my life be lived with a message, as my mouth speaks less. I long for curiosity on me, as I have been curious about us.
I have written so less on the gap in between this and the one I had before, so now, I tip the cup to the surface and let the caffeine spill. My message is filtered but my substance overflows let me write my mind away for my mind to be free, freedom with the bounds of morals and dignity. I desire to be empty, I desire to be filled. The edge has been spilling with the substance and I chose to contain, but not now, not anymore.
My year, take me as an empty cup, hic.
