Maybe its the comfort of being alone, maybe its the deafening silence but the desire to be a voice or just that you’re too ashamed to admit what happened or what you are.
Whatever it is you’re going through, you are not alone.
You are a locked diary, and you’re not aware that you leave trails of ink to hint possible assumptions of who you are, to find for those that takes an effort to do so, to find you, to know you. Rarely does your interest to pursue a gathering, to gain effort and only a selected few moves you from your haven.
All because you know you survive as a solace to yourself.
Nonetheless there is a need for company, because the greatest enemy is what you can/have become. You begin to be what you never dreamed of and there are deeds done that have no need to go on repeat.
You’re not Hopeless
There is better hope in being accountable, to find that being of the same spirit. Consider to tell the being who we are: who I want to be, and what I am. Because two eyes are not enough to observe the convictions of yesterday against today.
It may seem enough to treat the memories as stories, but it is a need to start to perceive it as failure, and the partner is a casualty. Because the more you fall deeper, the more you have failed yourself in treating his purpose with respect.
Life is just not a Story to Tell
Stop telling stories and it’s time to tell a life. Don’t delay a word to be from the past but take effort to share it as present, because what use is preparation for a damage done? There is less wisdom to be used in consolation rather than sound advice.
You are gifted with a friend, be one. Don’t treat them as diaries, they are not meant to reminisce with you, they are alive with you. Live your life with them.
Some people are not as judgmental as what you assume, and you just have to find where the world does not crowd to, for what is a populated place if you’re sharing a life secret? If you’re looking to be treasured then you have to go where you are of value, and it’s usually something you know but never paid attention to.
Start paying attention.
I’m supposed to be writing about my recent conviction with my accountability partner and how I’ve treated him to be nothing more than the ordinary but I’ve lost touch by the way I write. So here’s me, trying to run my literature engine. I know it’s vague, but this is me reminding myself that I have something priceless that the world seeks for, a friend who understands you completely and yet I did not engage on this benefit I have been given, I now choose to.
It may seem like an embarrassment to be accountable, but to be ashamed of a feat just equates that you know it does not agree with the principles you hold yourself with. I need to be better, we all do. Fear of being accountable is a weakness for the one who avoids consequences.
For those that enjoy the benefits of such, let me remind you of your blessing. For those that considers it a trouble, stop doubting its ability, believe and act with heart. For those that lack one, seek and you will find. If you find the need, let’s talk.
Photo courtesy of Cupcake
