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Productivity and Momentum | KSi

The Productivity Momentum project

Motivation: It’s not what you think it is

Just like the misunderstood “inspiration” and “passion”, motivation has been an overused excuse as part of the waiting game before productivity.

But here’s the thing: It doesn’t come by out of the blue. It’s not an asteroid that’s just going to hit you and you’re going to suddenly become bursting with energy. Motivation is something you work with, it’s a momentum and you need to fight the inertia first to find it.

This post was inspired by the book “The Motivation Myth” by Jeff Haden

We all think motivation is what gets us from 0 to 1, but it’s not. Depending on your environment you’re looking to be productive at, the results will differ: If you’re looking to work on a conference full of people with same interest as you, that’s definitely fodder for your inspiration, passion and motivation. You can work then and there as a huge ignition for whatever you desire and set on a momentum forward but let’s face it, rarely is there a time where you work in a conference because you’re definitely there to listen or network rather than to make something. On the other hand, if you’re in a spot that your body is familiar to be slouching off, you will never get that boost. Your comfort zone will keep dragging you backwards to the good things in life like Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

So where do you get it?

From progress. Progress that let’s you reach milestones, milestones that gives you a sense of achievement, and achievement that makes you feel great. Motivation is a wheel, and you need to roll it first before anything happens, but when you do, it gets moving for a while. It’s not an infinite source, or a wildfire, it’s an empty battery you charge, use and charge once again.

So, how do I become motivated?

Do.

Everything is a hindrance in this world from making you want to do what matters to you: the wifi, the refrigerator, your phone, your imagination, your worries, your dog, you right hand and etc. What separates you from being able to achieve what you want is to go full “fuck it” and do it. Use the 5 second rule by Mel Robbins and count backwards from 5 and as soon as you reach 1, just do what you sought out to do. Don’t think about the consequences anymore, the effort or the time, if it’s something you came this far to perform it must be something worth doing and by worth doing I mean if you don’t do it you’re going to be left with a big “What if”

Don’t live a life of “What ifs”, live a lot of “Why didn’t I”, learn and lessen your “Whys” instead.

Life will not serve you matters on a platter, rarely does it happen. If you’re reading this, it must be because you’re not one of those picked by chances. Less passivity and more activity, less begging more grabbing opportunities. Your life is yours, don’t let trendy words and sweet notions make you perform any less. Hard work, discipline and grit has always been present in the stories successful people. Your goals, dreams and focus is yours not life’s. If you’re going to own it, you better do something about it. Great people don’t wait for opportunities, they make it.

So, when was the last time you were motivated?

 

Empathy is a Skill not a Talent

I was once talking with a friend about a conflict, for awhile, he was very empathic and at the same time inquisitive. After discussing much and entering into delicate matters he touched on a subject I was not very comfortable on and asked why he seemed very interested. After clarifying his stance, he sensed an underlying tone about the question and proceeded to apologize.

I don’t want this to turn into a misunderstanding between us. I overstepped and I’m sorry.

That was the exact phrase that melted my guard. No matter how much fumes I was exhuming, there was no way to go on the offense with someone that can bow down to an argument that well. I stepped back, reviewed the whole thing and understood his motives, it was clearer he was not against me but for me.

People with empathy are worth keeping

Because they know what to do when they have wronged you in whichever part of the process it may be. It helps you both grow as they admit fault, you see yours as well and you learn from it even in silence or space. Saying sorry is a skill that doesn’t lower your stance, value, honor or dignity but something that conveys the message that this relationship holds more value than my individuality. Of course, this has done be done in a transparent execution rather than offensive or defensive. It does wonders and rather than arguing why I’m right or why you’re wrong, it brings more amicable resolution between both parties because there’s a clear line between personal attack and personal improvement.

Proud people will put the blame on you

No matter if their actions were the cause of the problem, they would see your confrontation as the cause, and the conflict as the effect. When their happiness is far more important than your relationship, you know which category to place them on. Happiness should be shared in the context of a relationship, not kept for one. When someone chases for happiness on the expense of others, it is the formula for a lot of problems. You will spiral down to a loss of yourself in a life full of conflict.

So, pay attention of what has been done if it is a response or a decision. If it is caused by human intention for themselves, it is a decision, if you were affected by the action it is a response. Response are worth discussing because there’s a trigger than can be either improved or avoided. Working towards a common goal has always been one of the greatest achievement factor of humanity. It can be done when people agree on striving for the same goal.

People that sees change as an offensive process are left behind in maturity. While there can be charming attributes that goes with the lack of it, there are worse for ones when you find it necessary. You can choose to stay and guide them, some will bloom with gratitude, some wouldn’t. It’s your risk, sometimes the soil they have to grow on is not on your life, if so set them free. Easier said than done but they have to grow.

Empathy is not something that’s bestowed by birth, or found in genes. It is a skill that can be learned, you only have to see the world through the eyes of the other person. It’s not always easy but it’s always achievable to those who seek out to be one. Rely less on emotions, assess the argument with a sound mind and understand what the other person is going through. If it is irrational, just calm them down based on their fears. If it is with a point, affirm, apologize and proceed to discuss with pursuing resolution to solve it.

To empathize is not just to understand the effect but to find out the cause and provide a solution. It’s to find the root and make things right.

Like every skill, it’s not a supernatural blessing that you have to wait to be bestowed. It gets better with practice and preparation. The best execution is when you’re prepared for the inevitable and confrontations in life will always happen. Make the right mindset, choose to be humble.

Grow and be better each passing day.

 

Don’t feed your Demons

There’s demons inside all of us and we can be not aware of it.

In an age of increased awareness of mental health, I find it absolutely necessary to discuss to be aware of your thoughts. You can either control it, or be controlled by it. You choose whether you take a passive stance to let it grow or to actively fight against it and keep it small. Yes, there is a high chance it won’t go away ever, it will come back and linger, but just as if you starve it to death by giving it no attention or idleness to feed on, if you give it one hint of entertainment it will have any ground to nourish it’s power over you.

How do you starve it? Communicate your demons to others, to people you love especially. Let people understand so they can handle you well and care enough for you, to dispel your fears and soothe your hurt everytime it comes back. A memory is the past, it’s addicting to focus on it because you there is an absolute you can predict, but if you do you magnify what has already passed, you will only take another stab of what can’t be changed. A demon doesn’t have a reputation for what it is when you can overpower it by yourself. Humans have powers by numbers, even the Bible claimed this:

Genesis 11:6 states:

The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.

Where you put your heart on it will be your priority, where your priority is is where you’ll give your time. If the the past hurts and you keep reminiscing on it, you do nothing but disfavor to your present, future, your heart and mind. You prioritize a demon that brings you absolutely no good but to turn your life to the worse while you will fail to realize the that love surrounds you. Make no mistake, yes you can be blinded by it. It maybe comfortable to bask on self-loathing but it’s not worth the trade for the longer run.

People love and people care. Out of all the 800 friends listed on your Facebook, at least 3 will try to care for you. And those 3 will be worth the courage to be transparent.

Not all people are communicative unfortunately. So for those who love, keep asking, keep reassuring. Learn to dig for dirt that was burried under deep, provide security and confidence. For those that are silent, take courage and speak. Love surpasses all risks and fears. Don’t ever forget, Demons feed on being alone, failure to communicate and feeding your fear. That is how a downfall begin: To your esteem, to your thoughts, your relationships and ultimately, yourself.

Don’t wait till you lose everything, start being aware of what your thoughts are. There is no demon too great to overcome if you’re not on his side anymore. Rally your friends and family, your loved ones and you will triumph guaranteed. I lost what I treasured to a Demon inside the mind. Don’t wait to lose yours, there’s no benefit to either you or everyone else around you when you let it linger and take root in your life.

The first step to healing is acceptance.

4 Ways to Gift Love

Now that it’s Christmas it is the season of giving gifts. Ironically, other people give gifts that hold no thought or just throw random things for the sake of keeping tradition. To say no one wishes for anything in Christmas can be highly doubted, though there are a few exceptions. Most of the time it pays to pay attention that maybe, what they wasn’t isn’t material goods but something out of the physical realm to be received. Other people feel alone though with a lot of items and tokens. So, one of the sure and best ways to make the Christmas warmer while getting big on savings is making sure you make them feel love and appreciated instead. So without further ado here’s a list of some of the ways you can definitely tell them “I love you” more than just saying it.

Give Time

I personally don’t like talking with my dad about sensitive issues. But when push comes to shove, I know it’s a must. Although counter intuitive at first that it may push me away, as his son, it actually has positive consequences. My parents aren’t the most eloquent person to communicate so you’d definitely feel the art of trying. Yes, at the start I feel like it’s a waste of time, but every after end of our discussions, I definitely feel the love because I know he got out of his way from his comfort zone to make sure I grow right according to what he knows is good.

Another alternative to this is to spend time outside of where you can be focused on in either a new or comfortable environment, take them on a wonderful journey in the season of lights and the breeze, it doesn’t give any memento to keep on your stash but the memories and the feelings definitely stay for a long time. I wouldn’t mind not getting a jacket as long as I have a hand to hold or probably a head on my shoulder to warm me up in the wonderful holiday.

Serve the extra mile

Yesterday, I didn’t have much to do other than to stay home alone and play my games but before I had the chance to, my mom asked me if I can go with her to a funeral. While this is coupled with the fact that I am having diarrhea matched with long drives on the road, I weighed in that moment that giving her time this December was heavier than my comfort. I was glad to take her places rather than letting her go alone in this horrible December traffic, if you focus on what was given rather than mere present like how you feel and what you want, it’s easier to accomplish the task with a cheerful heart. It’s definitely clear when you’re doing it voluntarily or by force, so take note of your mood. In the end, she really appreciated my effort even stating to consider it as a Christmas gift already. (Take note boys and girls!)

Communicate your story

Tell them “good morning”, “I love you”, ask them “how are you” and tell them what your life is like for the day or the week. People you love like knowing what you’re up to. Communicating is a constant process but doesn’t need to be every minute, but starting and ending is definitely preferred.  In the age of social media where it’s second nature to post short “tweets” and “updates”, to send one to your special someone shouldn’t be so hard. Worse case scenario is you’re posting on those sites and that’s where they get their update. Gist is to recognize them as an integral part your life. It is one of the most sought after feelings in this word to be recognized and to be anyone has a huge gap compared to being someone in your life. Make them feel they are part of your journey than just a spectator. To communicate takes less time but more thought on how you give the message.

Write words

A Christmas card is nice but to write on a photo is definitely on a different level. I am a firm believer in the power and authority of words to build up and tear down. Still up till today, letters are my favorite gifts to receive other than really expensive ones that fit my wish list. A photo encapsulating a memory with the recipient rather than a card really puts the thought at 99.9% while costing so much cheaper than what you possibly might have rushed for. Don’t write generic wishes, put your personality into it, be honest as much as possible and craft your words in the warmth of your relationship. Items may be wonderful for a time but wears out or shelved after sometime soon, but good words that make them feel will last forever.

Knowing their love language doubles the effect of what you do. It pays to know how they feel loved the most, so if you really want to go big, get them to take the test. It’s free online! To those of you who’s trying to save up on investments and for the future, trust me when I say: That when someone loves you, the greatest gift is to make them feel you love them back. Amongst all the gifts I received, the best ones I will treasure aren’t the ones I can hold, but the ones that encourage, appreciate and the one that holds thought to who I am to them.

Happy Christmas gift planning!