Day 95 of Awareness: Family

I’ve just recently recovered from sickness which got me staying in bed for a week.

For you who think that, that is “the life”, please don’t get it wrong. It was a horrible feeling, the lack of results and the failure to achieve goals everyday was a discouraging session. But I’m not here to discuss such trivial matters for this post, today I post about those people who have no choice but to stick by your side, your mother, father and your siblings.

I see myself as a lone wolf type. “Do not ask help unless needed so that others won’t have the right to ask you back” is my mantra. So can you imagine me surviving in my room with the capacity of a slug to move around? I survived with three loaves of bread and 3 cups of water in a day, I could. But here’s the thing: My mom won’t let me.

As much as I’d love my peace, quiet, solitude and rest with an aching head, body, chest and throat, nothing beats the incessant request of mom to bring you her chicken noodle soup. It was the best meal for my soggy body. Dad was competitive in making a mark as well, taking time to take me to the doctor when I couldn’t take it and giving advices that I didn’t wanted to hear but had some truth in it, is a gesture i truly appreciated.

Brother was more of “Get well, I got this.” You would only know how gracious this is in being an employee.

Now while this sounds as me trying to brag about my “perfect” family, it’s not. You see, we’re not perfect and that’s the thing I want to emphasize here. Heck we’re even going through a family problem currently that tackles about the imperfections of how our formative years were chaotic and down right wrong in some aspects. We’re not an affectionate family at all, nor people who love to tackle hardships directly. We have a lot of dirt under the rug but when push comes to shove, I see the foundation and it is good.

I’m pretty sure your family has its story, to some that have entirely broken ones: I’m sorry and I really hope an intervention happens to cure your pain. But to those that can converse, those without ill-will and have just gotten stale, never forget them, don’t let the tinder die. Some people find love to love others, parents will love to have their children be vulnerable in their adult stages. Do I regret asking my family for help? No. Did I benefit from their effort? Yes, immensely.

In the end, no stranger could ever care for you more than your family and that is the greatest investment you could make, learn and know what makes them happy as you will need them sooner or later.

Day 64 of Awareness: Environment

I’ve been going to the gym lately and I realized how different it is that doing it at home.

As social beings (no matter how introverted you are), there’s a huge difference on your perception based on what surrounds you. At home, it’s easy to make the excuse of not doing a single exercise because, well, the laptop, the lack of equipments and the bed; After it comes to overcoming the initial inertia which is “going to the gym,” the motivation suddenly shifts from “Ugh, the gym.” to “Well, the gym.”

This principle is not necessarily applicable to all people or instance, but to those especially susceptible alteration and the lack of discipline, well, you and me pal.

There are probably two  channels that took a part of shaping your character and attitude: your internal conviction and external influence. As for internal conviction, let’s tackle that for another time. But you can be sure the internal is definitely affected by the external matters. So, mind where you are, where you spend your time and what compromises them the most, because if you don’t, you’re letting trash through your system without a filter.

Your environment does a lot to your subconscious, so pay attention. If you’re lazy at work: are you friends with the diligent teammates or are you with the whiny group? If you’re not thinking forward: are you with the people who think about how to pay the bills or the people who think of investments? Who you surround yourself dictates you.

As Jim Rohn said: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Day 50 of Awareness: Affirmation

It’s one thing to get a like in social media, it’s another to be told by a stranger you are “loved”, yet its a whole different level of presence when a loved one or a treasured friend tells you “I miss you”

While words have the power to deceive and break people, it also has the power to motivate and build them up. It has so much ability to change lives it’s definitely a wonder why people keep it so reserved to themselves when their statements could change the moment of someone on the brink of losing it. Give out your words if you think someone’s smile is beautiful, if the way they dressed is gorgeous or dashing, give a tissue note if you’re too shy with words. It pays to break away from shyness into acting on your capacity.

Protip: If you’re extremely shy to say anything, polish a smile that connotes the message, it might seem small but it’s a gesture that can deliver.

I’m not the someone that gets a lot of these messages from friends I look up to and I’m telling you that the few times I get them, it strikes a nail in the wood. The fact that someone you respect confirms your deliberate effort to live really rejuvenates a weary spirit. So, if you remember someone you missed the opportunity to greet, to send a message, or just feel like cheering someone up someone, do so. Don’t hesitate, you lose nothing only for both of you to gain something. A friendship that just gets better overtime.

Day 33 of Awareness: Core Foundation

Life has been feeding us knowledge in this information age on a rate we struggle to comprehend. We’ve gotten so focused about growth that have you ever wondered where and if you’re rooted on something to start with?

A lot of people struggle with identity, priority and future because we have become so obsessed of fluid concepts. As time passes and discoveries progress, we see more of the grays and we’re mesmerized by each ideas. Knowing is not acceptance and acceptance is not based from others.

Now, why is this bad? Because if we become so entranced to following a moving trend you will never get a chance to  create a firm strong foundation to flourish on. You need to decide where to take heart, welcome and base your decision and future on.

“Kevin I didn’t understand a single thing you wrote.”

Think of this as an example, have you ever decided an order of priority between these topics:

  • Faith
  • Health
  • Finance
  • Family
  • Friends

I for one thought that was my hierarchy of importance. But intention that does not translate into action is nothing. After observing the results; on which one time is invested the most, sad to say it would look more like this:

  • Finance
  • Health
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Faith

Now, it is impossible to state that all is equal: There is no such thing.If given the choice to pick which one to choose, you will have to decide to sacrifice one over the other, else you will lose both. I am not against any combination as it’s for each one of us to determine what is good for our lives but if you’re failing on your own conviction, what is there to keep you from making a “wrong” choice? It’s easy to forgive a mistake against something that you belittle or find no concern to, but if it’s something you value it becomes a different story altogether.

Get Grounded

You have to determine what’s right to be able to tell what’s wrong. There has to come a point that you have to draw a line on where to believe in; knowledge, reasoning and community has empowered and defended clashing opinions of perspectives in our age. While it is possible to be a pacifist, rest assured that when you do take that path, growth won’t be on top of your priority and this message is not at all for you.

If you plan to grow, to grow someone and to go a mile than float in circles: choose your core values which you nourish by finding like minded people and a community that will empower you. That way your motion won’t be determined but random ripples in this life but a wave to push you on where you will or have set your heart on.