Apparently I missed blogging yesterday, even though it lingers in my schedule. I still have four tasks on my post-it notes that I’ve yet to finish but I really have the strong urge to write right now.
Failure in discipline
I’m really disappointed at myself right now in my waking up discipline, back then when my brother was here at the office, I always had my guard up in performing my best. It’s true, freedom has its bad consequences and Im the type that would rather be guided rather than roam free.
But Im still fighting, and I always do my best in trying to catch up with the time and work that has passed, nonetheless there is still more benefit if I were to do it right rather than just produce patches for my wounds.
Last night I got to talk with a friend that I havent heard from for a month or so. He was an online buddy I met through a game that I’ve grown to care for due with his state of faith and mentality. I’ve always had a burden for people that lost hope in humanity and life.
Talking with the group, shouting and all that crazy antics and jokes felt great, although I honestly can’t say I participated actively, its good to hear that everyone was in a good state at that moment, and the reunion was something everyone agreed was due to all of us.
I’m still trying to keep my ball rolling towards my enthusiasm to work, we’re currently using a new management system for tasks that Im currently not used to yet. Emails here and there and the continuous provision of concerns and fixes pop up from time to time. I’m really the kind of worker that loves doing quick fixes, I hate tasks that require updates and fixes onwards, but lately, those are the kind of works that land on my plate and I have to live with it.
I love change.
I’m currently loving the independent mentality I’m cultivating right now, enough about chasing and pursuing people, que sera sera they say. I quit my idle life in trying to pursue the wind, instead I’ll start improving myself immensely. As much as I think that I am capable, I’ve started to wonder: Maybe the reason why I am never reciprocated is that I’m not worth reciprocating yet. Just because I think I have what it takes doesn’t mean I already have it, other people can have other opinions.
Since the concept of gravity states that the larger the mass, the larger the attractive force, I guess I would just have to make myself bigger than who I’ve been because maybe whoever I’m destined with still hasn’t noticed my gravity due to my current being.
Tired of chasing people, this time Ill just run forward, catch me if you can. If no one will, at least I know I am ahead.