Fleeting Thoughts

Apparently I missed blogging yesterday, even though it lingers in my schedule. I still have four tasks on my post-it notes that I’ve yet to finish but I really have the strong urge to write right now.

Failure in discipline

I’m really disappointed at myself right now in my waking up discipline, back then when my brother was here at the office, I always had my guard up in performing my best. It’s true, freedom has its bad consequences and Im the type that would rather be guided rather than roam free.

But Im still fighting, and I always do my best in trying to catch up with the time and work that has passed, nonetheless there is still more benefit if I were to do it right rather than just produce patches for my wounds.

Nostalgia night

Last night I got to talk with a friend that I havent heard from for a month or so. He was an online buddy I met through a game that I’ve grown to care for due with his state of faith and mentality. I’ve always had a burden for people that lost hope in humanity and life.

Talking with the group, shouting and all that crazy antics and jokes felt great, although I honestly can’t say I participated actively, its good to hear that everyone was in a good state at that moment, and the reunion was something everyone agreed was due to all of us.

Working drive

I’m still trying to keep my ball rolling towards my enthusiasm to work, we’re currently using a new management system for tasks that Im currently not used to yet. Emails here and there and the continuous provision of concerns and fixes pop up from time to time. I’m really the kind of worker that loves doing quick fixes, I hate tasks that require updates and fixes onwards, but lately, those are the kind of works that land on my plate and I have to live with it.

I love change.

Heart matters

I’m currently loving the independent mentality I’m cultivating right now, enough about chasing and pursuing people, que sera sera they say.  I quit my idle life in trying to pursue the wind, instead I’ll start improving myself immensely. As much as I think that I am capable, I’ve started to wonder: Maybe the reason why I am never reciprocated is that I’m not worth reciprocating yet. Just because I think I have what it takes doesn’t mean I already have it, other people can have other opinions.

Since the concept of gravity states that the larger the mass, the larger the attractive force, I guess I would just have to make myself bigger than who I’ve been because maybe whoever I’m destined with still hasn’t noticed my gravity due to my current being.

Tired of chasing people, this time Ill just run forward, catch me if you can. If no one will, at least I know I am ahead.

Lost but with a Path

Lost

I honestly don’t know what to blog about today, but I promised to myself I would do my best to post each day about something. So, I’m sitting here wondering, what’s good to post? My life in general is very repetitive and it takes effort to see the detail of difference in it but whatever, here goes.

Today I woke up late to the rings of the phone with my brother on the line requesting urgent work to  be done. I woke up an hour late of when I should be up… Shitake.

Frustration

Fixed a task I couldn’t do optimally, so I had to do the dirty job of pasting a code to a number of files, ugh. I felt like I went 2 years back of my development knowledge. It’s really frustrating to study a year (or more) old system and fail in trying to make it work. This is especially more frustrating since there are so many products already openly available that does the job faster and easier by an exponential improvement. After that I had the honor of messaging a collaborator of Sean’s about her website fixes. As expected, I received no reply till now. Oh joy.

…And other nitty gritty technical tasks which I find too boring to elaborate.

Communication

Today, a meeting was summoned to discuss a concern regarding inside matters about the company’s environment status and its team. Issues were raised, concerns were clarified and conclusions were made.

One thing we realized in the end of it all is that communication has always been in a low with regards to the team and the management. I’m not sure if I’m lacking socialization or relationship development towards my peers but it is very evident I am out of the circle of know in what’s happening even though I am always at present at the office. Its hard to actually ask what I don’t know of and there seems to be a barrier between their concerns and opening up to me — and I’m quite sure its not the door to my room.

It is evident that quick and clear communication was necessary and the solution to most of our problems.

I’m really hoping as we left the room with action plans, that things improve for the better as these conflicts strain us from being too comfortable with how we did things and how it got prolonged. Things could’ve been solved earlier, but it got blown to bigger proportions with a higher casualty.

Change is inevitable, and changing for the better is an active response.

20 Vision

Back when I wasn’t working, my sharp eyesight used to be my pride and glory among my family. I could easily read information from afar when they couldn’t. My dad would usually ask me to look out for signs far away on our vacation travels to communicate it to him in advance. I would always sneer to both my siblings “My vision is perfect eh!” or “Pangpilot pa daw yung eyesight ko, hah!

…Those were the good ‘ol days.

After much blinking and focus, I’ve realized my left eyesight degraded. I found it hard reading letters at about an arms length away from the monitor, each character seems a little soft now on the sides. This disappoints me to a certain degree and I guess is a wake up call about my health in spending most of my life in front of a digital box.

Sigh, time to give an optician a visit and get new lenses I guess.

And to think I loved wearing frames without lenses. I guess the people who found that quite irritating had their prayers answered: for me to wear a legitimate lens for my frames now.

I still hope they get corrected though, I loved my precise vision. This will probably be a humbling experience.

He gives and He takes away, blessed be His name.

Any tips on getting my sight back, anyone?

Dust Particles

Woke up today with my throat a little sore, I’m guessing it was because it’s the first time I placed the fan towards me while there was a curtain across my head that wasn’t really moved too much. The air direction might have shuffled the cloth and in turn had some dust moving around, unfortunately my oral crevice is near to suck some in.

It’s not necessarily a bad morning but it certainly not a pleasant start.

Adding to this, I’m quite sure I had a sad dream but I couldn’t recall what happened, but it troubles me up till now. Strange, I’ve been waking up to so much negative vibes lately. Its quite disappointing that I couldn’t recall what it is to get it off my shoulder.

Shifting to the bright side, if things go according to plan I hope to post an article about a challenge a friend asked me to write about soon and a whole lot more, probably more about philosophy though. Hopefully soon, I will be inspired and be able to write a tutorial instead.