It’s so frustrating that even when I get to break down a task into less than two minutes, fear still overwhelms me to set it aside for later.
I’m looking for a job for next year, or for December, and to do that, I’ve placed the challenge that I should send out my CV to atleast 2 companies. Truth be told, I’m having a hard time and there are days I fail to meet this criteria because I’m too scared about what will happen. Though, when you think about it, the worst that can happen is that I just get ignored. There really is something wrong with me, and how much I feel failure that I have to get through. If anything, this is the greatest weight I have right now that’s impeding my progress. Kent is already in a fast track to his success and I must keep up.
Oh, my car broke down yesterday after going to my college Alma Mater. Some pipes under the hood broke that made water and oil get everywhere and the aircon had a smoking scent. Thankfully as well as sadly, it broke down on a gocery about 15mins from home. It’s been fixed today for a hefty sum and I’m again backpedalling on my finances.
Life has been kinder to me these days. I am able to get a breather. The danger is getting too comfortable about it which I do not want to happen. Kent and I broke up because of my undiscipline and complacent attitude, I need to fix this before I reach Australia for good.
We had a video call today before sleeping at last. You can’t imagine how cute he looked when he called. His cheeks was very soft, eyes mysterious as teh night sky and smile as warm as dawn. Sadly, he was very tired, as when it was 11pm in Manila, it was 1am at Darwin. But things are getting more interesting and connected, I really look forward for the dominos falling into place for his life. I really hope our relationship does get to be part of it.